Last week was great. This week is hell.
This week is just not a good week for me.
This is when karma are being jealous of me being gay.
Can't you just let me enjoy my happiness for like at least 2 weeks??
I can say that December hates me.
Well I hate you too!
It started with unhappy, then disagreement, then a fight, and to make it even worst, there comes along carelessness.
I just never thought that I would loose it.
See Hudda, always, always, always expect the unexpected.
But who would have thought ey.
I should have just keep it in my jewelry
box instead of showing it to the whole world.
Aargghh!!! Hate it! Hate it!!
Talking about that fight, that ain't funny no more. I know that sometimes I loose myself, when I get excited, angry or something. I can't help it. Especially when around my friends. See, that's why I have you. For you to remind me of who I am. I know that I don't speak well, my behavior doesn't represent who I'm suppose to be. Just try to understand, sometimes it's hard to change, to be someone better. And I hope that you don't give up on me.
I hope you never do.
Now I'm being silly thinking that we both should take a LONG nap for awhile,
dreaming and then wake up and get ready to what we are.
Am I having cold feet again? I just thought that 2 years is still not long
enough to make that decision. Yes, that huge decision. Are we making a mistake? Are we? I seriously don't know what's going on in my mind. If it is a mistake, now is the right time to pause it. Maybe we need 5 years or more to make that decision.
I can't deny my feelings towards you, and neither yours. It's so strong that I would eat a rabbit for you (which is the last resort, if there is no more cows left. Are there anymore cow?). See, that's is how strong it is.
The question is, am I right for you? Am I good enough for you?(which I try to be). Or maybe it was just me who think too much. But I can't say that those questions does not bother me at all. People are good at pretending you know, sometimes I can't tell.
So I decided not to let the whole know. I rather keep it in my precious little box. Not that I don't love you, but I'm afraid that another will go away.
Where do we go from here then?
Sekian.
